Dear God added on 12/24/97
Somehow Lord, you've always stood beside me. You have been there for a man who has yet to truly deserve it. And through it all you have held your Love out for me like a beacon; so that during those times that I turned away from you, in the midst of the total darkness that I created, I could always sense where you were and find my way back to you.
You never once labeled me as bad or wrong. Instead you loved me for what I am and just guided me back in the right direction. We both know what you expect of me ... Yet, as if I were a child gazing longingly at the cookie jar, you calmly kept me on the straight and narrow ... always knowing what I wanted, but even more, knowing what I needed.
So, although the lid of the cookie jar was constantly in my gaze, and you knew what was in my heart, you still loved this very imperfect human being. Even to the point of picking me up when I ran and shouldn't have... or questioned you and it was uncalled for...
So very many times I doubted your judgment and was angry at your decisions, yet you were never provoked to anger. still today, you know my concerns and misgivings about this world that you created, not to mention the few flaws in me that I could have done without ... Yet, you stand by me patiently and have some confidence that I might actually grow up into the person that you need me to be to be in your (I mean "our") world.
With all these unnecessary fears that I still have, even though you've shown me a thousand times that i don't need to worry, you still love and tolerate me the way that I am. You see qualities in your children that I myself still do not see. And for that my heavenly father, I will always try to do your will here on earth. I will always try my best to understand, and try to live up to that goodness that you see in me.